This time last week I was trying to fall asleep early in preparation for my managerial bow; attempting to lead the Little Lambs school team to glory in an Under-13 competition at the 40,000 capacity Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium.
OK, so admittedly I was just the team babysitter, having been given the strict brief of safely navigating our way across town by the real manager Aldroy. However, after finding out that they needed a generous benefactor to pay the 200 rupees entry fee, I bought my way in and became majority shareholder, chairman and self-appointed Director of Football.
When we arrived, it soon became clear that the tournament had been unceremoniously shunted out of the stadium for a regional athletics competition and that we would be plying our no-frills brand of 'kick-pass-shoot' on some gravel in the car park.
Before the match, I prepared the young lads with the ever so subtle piece of advice that they should 'let them know you're in the game early doors'. When they clearly had no idea what I was on about, I just told the 2 bruisers at the back to kick everyone in sight. As far as teamtalks go, the only motivation the boys needed was to remind them that it was a knockout competition and that the longer they kept winning, the longer they didn't have to be in school.
Unfortunately, we hadn't counted on the strength of the considerably older and richer opponents. Omega International School had too much for us on the day and questions will have to be raised as to the age of their midfield powerhouse who may well have been as old as 18. But that's just sour grapes. Our lads froze. And in some style.
Some might say that the important thing is that the boys had a nice outing and enjoyed taking part. They'd be wrong. As the sign above Crystal Palace Football Club's Beckenham training ground reads, 'Winning is Everything'.
OK, so admittedly I was just the team babysitter, having been given the strict brief of safely navigating our way across town by the real manager Aldroy. However, after finding out that they needed a generous benefactor to pay the 200 rupees entry fee, I bought my way in and became majority shareholder, chairman and self-appointed Director of Football.
When we arrived, it soon became clear that the tournament had been unceremoniously shunted out of the stadium for a regional athletics competition and that we would be plying our no-frills brand of 'kick-pass-shoot' on some gravel in the car park.
Before the match, I prepared the young lads with the ever so subtle piece of advice that they should 'let them know you're in the game early doors'. When they clearly had no idea what I was on about, I just told the 2 bruisers at the back to kick everyone in sight. As far as teamtalks go, the only motivation the boys needed was to remind them that it was a knockout competition and that the longer they kept winning, the longer they didn't have to be in school.
Unfortunately, we hadn't counted on the strength of the considerably older and richer opponents. Omega International School had too much for us on the day and questions will have to be raised as to the age of their midfield powerhouse who may well have been as old as 18. But that's just sour grapes. Our lads froze. And in some style.
Some might say that the important thing is that the boys had a nice outing and enjoyed taking part. They'd be wrong. As the sign above Crystal Palace Football Club's Beckenham training ground reads, 'Winning is Everything'.
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