Troublemaker

I caused quite a stir in the supermarket yesterday. My fatal mistake:- trying to buy a single onion. The girl at the till looked at me like she was John Anderson and I was Wolf from Gladiators or maybe a bit like if i'd just used her family toilet and missed. The computerised till, for some reason, went into meltdown over my request. She said that if I bought two then there wouldn't be a problem, but I decided to stand my ground. After all, I was cooking for one and too much onion might destroy the balance of my carefully planned Curry Powder Curry. So, after she had attempted numerous different oniony combinations to try and out-fox the technology (a different onion. two smaller onions. an onion in a bag etc.), I was told I couldn't have this particular vegetable in singular form even if I paid over the odds for it.

The only reason I'd made such a fuss about wanting this single onion was for a degree of revenge against the greatest evil of Indian culture; Faffing.

Time doesn't really seem to be an issue in Chennai. Arranging to meet at a certain time is completely pointless over here because of the faffing. The 24 hour clock might as well be changed to morning, afternoon and evening because the lack of urgency towards life is incredible. I haven't made an appointment for anything yet but i'd be surprised if the word even exists.

The supermarket is the most frustrating example of living life at Chennai pace. You can stroll up behind a queue of just one person who is carrying just a small basket of goods and easily be waiting for 10 minutes to be served. Nobody seems to care about the time that is being eaten up as both staff and customer has a chat about the price and merit of each item. Nobody seems to care as they work out which one of 40 different methods of payment to use. Nobody seems to care about the long conversation they have about the benefits of getting a Reliance clubcard. Nobody seems to care that there are, as with every business in India, at least double the amount of staff to the amount of customers and still only one girl on the tills. Nobody seems to care that I am going very red and am saying 'for fack sake' as loud as I can without being completely obvious.

This is 'Chennai Time'. It is something I have to deal with and be open-minded about. It is a constant struggle.

They also don't seem to have been taught the ancient art of forming a queue over here, but that is a story for a different day which I can have another mini-stroke over.