I managed to finish a fiction book for the first time in god-knows-how-long. I did, however, need 24 hours stuck on a boat with no access to a television or the internet to accomplish the feat. We were on a houseboat cruise of the backwaters in Kerala and it might speak volumes, but I threw my toys out of the pram (expressed mild disappointment) when I first realised there was no television on the boat. I'd had my heart set on ignoring the second half of my holiday and taking in every single delivery of the World Cup quarter finals. I was under the impression that holidays were meant to be about relaxing and doing what you wanted, but it seems that the hotel industry insists on following some sort of barbaric regime which dictates that you must follow strict itineraries and punishes those who like to sleep late by not letting them have breakfast. Maybe it's a generational thing but I, Andrew Jameson, dream of a brighter future when I can wake up past mid-day and still tuck into pineapple slices and reheated bacon at my leisure.
Anyway, all this time alone without mind-frazzling contraptions forced me into hours of reading. The book in question was Simon Kernick's 'Relentless', a selection from Richard and Judy's Book Club. Peace of mind, i'm sure you'll agree. I personally can't pick up a novel that hasn't had the seal of approval from Britain's retired King and Queen of daytime TV. The quote from The Times on the cover said that the book was 'Unputdownable', which is the literary equivalent of a patronising pat on the back. In other words, the book was trashy shit for idiots. But I tend to be a bit of sucker for the opinions of critics, so whilst I enjoyed it, I was keen to make sure that I kept any enjoyment at an arms length and if asked to write a short review, I would probably say something like "pfft, just a holiday read, you know". And that is how to be a snooty bastard.
The houseboat itself was a bit of a strange experience as we had 4 staff working for a total of 3 guests but that is fairly par for the course out here. At 6.30PM, the boat anchored down in the middle of a huge lake and we were told that we'd be staying there for the night. We always knew about the arrangements concerning sleeping in the boat, but I think it caught us a bit off guard to be quite so stranded. It was a little too like the film 'Dead Calm' for our liking. In truth, I have no real recollection of what happens in that film but I know it's something to do with water and that it wasn't all plain sailing (1-0!).
Anyway, all this time alone without mind-frazzling contraptions forced me into hours of reading. The book in question was Simon Kernick's 'Relentless', a selection from Richard and Judy's Book Club. Peace of mind, i'm sure you'll agree. I personally can't pick up a novel that hasn't had the seal of approval from Britain's retired King and Queen of daytime TV. The quote from The Times on the cover said that the book was 'Unputdownable', which is the literary equivalent of a patronising pat on the back. In other words, the book was trashy shit for idiots. But I tend to be a bit of sucker for the opinions of critics, so whilst I enjoyed it, I was keen to make sure that I kept any enjoyment at an arms length and if asked to write a short review, I would probably say something like "pfft, just a holiday read, you know". And that is how to be a snooty bastard.
The houseboat itself was a bit of a strange experience as we had 4 staff working for a total of 3 guests but that is fairly par for the course out here. At 6.30PM, the boat anchored down in the middle of a huge lake and we were told that we'd be staying there for the night. We always knew about the arrangements concerning sleeping in the boat, but I think it caught us a bit off guard to be quite so stranded. It was a little too like the film 'Dead Calm' for our liking. In truth, I have no real recollection of what happens in that film but I know it's something to do with water and that it wasn't all plain sailing (1-0!).
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